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"From now on when your done with my panties, put them back in my hamper, okay?" She asked. She looked into my eyes with a slight smile, then walked out of my room.I wanted to die. I'd been raiding mom's hamper for a long time and obviously forgot about the panties I stashed. Although embarrassed, I was a bit suprised that mom wasn't more upset. I just hoped she wasn't going to tell my dad. Maybe if I apologized she would keep it between us.I went downstairs to the kitchen where she was preparing dinner."Mom." I said."Yeah, sweety?" She answered."Sorry about the panty thing." I said."You just need to be a little more careful, sport. I really don't want you to have to explain to your father why you have a pair of his wife's panties in your room." She said."Right, I guess I wasn't thinking." I stated.She walked over and sat next to me at the table."Can I ask you a few things about your panty fetish." She asked.I laughed, a bit shamefully."Yeah, I guess." I answered."Well you get them out. Guilt, lust, shame, pride to name a few. Could be the ecstasy from last night I think? I pull back up into the mirror and with a certain degree of difficulty begin to absorb what I'm seeing.I see a semi naked gay boy in an oversized oxford shirt trying to pee straight. I see a face very much like mine except for the smeared mascara and a dried white substance on a cheek. I see black hair cropped short in some places but long in others. All of that melts away when I look into those eyes. My entire known existence vanishes away in the blink of those eyes. I love seeing those long lashes and realizing they're mine. Beneath the mascara I see the eyes of the true believer. I see change, I see death and I see a rebirth. Gone is the man I was. Gone forever. As simple as that. I can see him, but he's a fading ghost.. Is this who I am? Am I really gay? Could I really be this cum stained faggot? Why does just thinking the word 'faggot' make me a little horny? You know why? I know why, its.
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